1: Goals have many different meanings to people. Personally, my definition of a goal is to achieve that first, for it to be a stepping stone to the bigger main goal I have. My goal at the moment is to have a minimum of a 3.5 GPA by the time I graduate in 2013. Now, like most goals, to other people it may not have a meaning or it may not sound as important to them, but we all are different and have different goals that we want to achieve. It all depends on how much effort and time the person is willing to dedicate to that specific goal so they can make what’s in their imagination a reality.
2: Like I said before my goal was to have a minimum of a 3.5 GPA by the time I graduate in 2013 and that goal to me is a huge step in my future goals. The reason for me to get that average is for me to be able to transfer to a good 4 year college. If I have a good enough GPA, I can get accepted to a good 4 year college and get my bachelor’s degree. Once I do go to the 4 year college, it will be a lot more expensive than what it is now at a 2 year, so I will need more money. A good way to get money would be to get an academic scholarship, and I would need a good GPA for that so I can get a good amount of money. Of course making this goal possible will be a hard thing to do and it will take a lot of work to accomplish it.
3: Personally, I have never been good in school academic wise because I tend to have bad study habits. A lot of the time, I may not have time to complete assignments and exams, so I tend to rush and just try to get it finished as fast as I can. I need to be able to make a time outline to get things in order so that I won’t have to do everything at the last minute. Starting my work earlier and concentrating more in school will help me out a lot so that I won’t feel stressed out and panic out leaving me unable to do anything at all. These are problems that are going to arise during my years in college and I have to learn to develop them.
4: As I go along, the work won’t get any easier, so I have to learn as quickly as possible and adapt to being able to manage time well. The work will get more intense and it will make it hard to keep up with the work especially if I’m taking multiple classes. There are many ways to solve this problem and the main one is to be more concentrated in school. Taking notes and participating more in class will help me understand what I need to do and what I’m learning, making studying and homework assignments a lot easier to do. It all depends on how much effort I put into making myself a better person overall. Being able to make these changes will allow me to act better upon other problems that may come forth as I continue on to my main goal.
5: My goals are extremely important to me, and I will continue to pursue these goals until they are all accomplished and I am satisfied with myself. The goals here will not only allow me to reach my main goal, but as well turn me into a better person over all. Setting goals for yourself is a helpful way to keep yourself motivated to do the right thing, and pursue something special to you. My goals help me reach my dream job and get me the education I need to do it. It keeps me motivated to continue on struggling with whatever life may throw at me because at the end I know what my result will be.
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ReplyDeleteThe kind of feedback that i think i need the most is to let me know if my ideas are in order, and to make sure they make sense. I mainly want that to be reviewed and to know how can i add more details into my essay as well as grammar and all the basics.
ReplyDeleteThe introduction isn't crystal clear because of the way the words are put together. The beginning talks about goals in general and that would be fine if you mentioned your goal first. The 2nd sentence kind of threw me off there I was not able to understand what you meant exactly. Your thesis sentence is perfect it states your goal and when you want to accomplish it. The sentences in your intro should be more of what graduating in 2013 means to you rather than explaining what a goal is. You could write in your intro starting with your thesis and than adding how school is important in general, what do you have to do in order to get that gpa, and maybe even mention what you want to major in and/or the college you want to go to. However your intro should be very open and not detailed paragraph because you want to give a hint to the reader without actually giving it all away. You can even add in the intro what does it meant to you to achieve that goal BUT don't say why just give an example like 'my parents expect me to live a better life and by doing so I need to do excellent." whatever the case may be.
ReplyDeleteMoving on to your body paragraphs, your topic sentence really state your goal and what you want to accomplish. The topic sentence relates to your thesis and are basically steps to goal. However I feel as if you should make your sentences smaller so that you don't confuse your writing.I was taught that smaller sentences do not mess you up or confuse yourself unless you know how to use a comma. What i think you should do is start each sentence with the topic sentence which is a broad sentence of your goal. Afterward break down the topic sentence and explain in details. You should also separate each paragraph with a topic for example your thesis is 'to get a minimum gpa off a 3.5 by the time you graduate in 2013' and you have 3 body paragraphs. Take a sheet of paper and wrote your thesis on top in other words your goal than write a list of
what you need to do to reach your goal?
why you want to reach that goal?
how can you change your lifestyle to reach your goal?
who can help you reach your goal?
ect.
ask as many questions as possible and than answer them. After you do that separate your answers and put them in 3 or more if need groups each group is a body paragraph. Than try to rewrite your answers in order so that the reader doesn't get confused with what you are writing and you do not need to change topics. Again i feel that you should make your sentences shorter. Paragraph 2 you started with Like and it doesn't sound so good as well as in paragraph 3 saying personally because we know you said it before and it is personally because it is your essay so no need to start your paragraph like that. You have some great sentences as well, the way you choose your words are somewhat good and not so god what I mean is for example paragraph 2 your topic sentence in bold repeats the word me and you can rephrase that to "I want to go to a 4 year college which is why I want to get a good average grade" or something like that.
Overall you have a great goal and I wish you all the best and luck to accomplishing your goal your writing is good and with a little bit rewriting it can become an even better paper :)